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The face of a clown

Most people really don’t  want to hear what you are thinking or feeling, so you give them a short “I’m okay”. You see it in their face and you have certainly been  there before, so you maneuver around the truth to make it all sound so perfectly pleasant in that cheery voice of yours.  You’ve gotten good …

The convulsive process of losing 7 lbs. in 2 days

Hello World, I just got through a rather lengthy, painful emptying syndrome. But that is the rhythm. My caregiver and I went through my food journal where I also put if I had diarrhea or not, to see how many good days I have. It was 16 out of 31 days. That is a disheartening …

Nausea 10 – Elaine 0

In 2005, after I  had just recovered from yet another large ulcer, I was still feeling unwell and was severely nauseated. It was the first time I had it since when I was pregnant forty years ago. The nausea put me down like a rock. Days would go by and I wouldn’t be able to …

Tiny little unexpected gifts

Long ago and far away, I used to have a green thumb. I could grow anything and most of my friends had transplants from my plants. Re potting my plants used to be like Christmas to me, I enjoyed it that much. Then, one sad day, I was scheduled to have neck surgery, so I …

Chronic illness and sleep

I don’t know if it is related to my chronic illness or the fact that I am getting old, after all, I am 58, but is it that old? But, since I have been ill, I have not had a full night’s sleep. I typically wake up four hours after I have dosed off. I …

When in doubt, sing and reminise

I haven’t been around in awhile because I have been under a lot of stress, both internally and externally. I allowed myself to become ill over the whole ordeal and that is a mistake I will not repeat in the future. If I am not strong enough to take care of myself, I can’t help …

Everyone needs a destressor

I was told that since it had been a year, that the majority of my stomach was removed, I was physically as good as I will ever get. I have to wrap my brain around the fact that statistics predict that I will deteriorate in some unknown time in my future. Since the surgery, my …

My day at the park or amusing my care provider

For the last week or so, my care provider, Alicia, comes in my house in the morning with her cheery smile talking about the baby ducks at the park lake. Oh, morning after morning, if I didn’t have a doctor’s appointment, I would be reluctant to not eat breakfast, so I wouldn’t have an incontinence problem …

The realities of the dumping syndrome

To say that I have the dumping syndrome, is not to explain what that is going to mean to the rest of my life. I heard one nurse say that I would never have a normal meal again. At that time, it was almost impossible to wrap my brain around it, but I had excellent doctors. I take …